Am I Pregnant?

Of course NOT.

I wanted to have a baby as early as now, so that when I become 40, I would already have a college graduate. :D But as I become aware of what real life brings, I think I had a lot more to do for myself, for now, of course. I'm young. I'm wild. I'm adventurous. Of course, I'll want more. I want to travel Asia and beyond. I want to try sunbathing in nude beaches. I want to dive in Blue Hole. I want to do everything I can as much as I can.

Am I pregrant? Or was I ever pregnant? No and yes. In my dreams. Literally. 


I dreamt of being pregnant last night. In my dreams, I was laboring. It was tough, really tough. Even in my dreams, I can feel the pain while looking at myself. Until I woke up, I still can feel the pain. The fear. I become afraid of the pain. I wasn't able to move for 20 minutes. I wanted to sleep again, get to my dream to deliver the child; to make the pain worth it. But it was unsuccessful. I ended up thinking the rest of the morning. Even my boss thought I was sick. 

I know I will get pregnant someday. But not soon. I am not yet prepared. And I think, most of all, before getting into this matter, one should be well-prepared and submissive into the situation. This is serious. It's not something that after you deliver, the hardest part is over. It's a lifelong process of ups, and downs, and tumblings, and love, and tears, and laughters, and disappointments, and success, and failures, and many more that we expect the least. 

I can't believe I'm talking about this. But I can't keep my thoughts for myself. Even though I'm still 21, I have a say on this. Right?

And you do, too.